I have had several male friends of mine lament to me over the years on the “clinginess” of the girls they have dated (or are dating). They always seek my counsel/advice on how to make these girls less clingy. Personally I cannot relate to that scenario because I can’t imagine ever being clingy or needy. I’ve always been fiercely independent. I do love having a man in my life, as long as he doesn’t cramp my style or crowd my space. Finding a good balance in a relationship is important to me.
The other day I had an epiphany on this whole “clingy” situation. When I think about all the women I know or have known over the years – the ones that were the most “clingy” in regards to their relationship with men, either already had kids, or desperately wanted them. All the women I know who are the anti-thesis of clingy are all childfree, like myself. It has caused me to wonder if their might be an underlying genetic trait that makes the same women who desperately want children, also cling tightly to the men in their lives? And that lacking that genetic trait makes a woman have a decreased or no desire for children (and therefore makes them less “clingy” as they have no “need” for a male to help them reproduce).
Yes, this is a gross generalization and may not even be true across the population – this is just pure speculation based on the women I personally have known over the years. If you are a woman I know and you find this does not reflect who you are, then please do not be offended. I’m just postulating a theory with no hard data to back it up. It’s pure speculation.
However I think it makes some sense too … the majority of women do want children. In order to have children they usually need to find a mate who will help fulfill this desire. Clinginess may be an attempt to hold on to that mate at least until they’ve had a chance to have a child or two. After that the “clinginess” is often transferred (in part) to the child.
Agree with me or not – it doesn’t matter, this is just pure speculation.