Archive for December 31, 2011

Reflecting on 2011

December 31, 2011 / Gabs / No comments

2011 was quite a year for me. I started out in a good position career-wise with my clients from 2010 having lots of projects for me early in the year.

We also spent the early part of the year getting our upstairs bathroom remodeled, which almost turned out fantastic. The tile work we had done came together really great and replacing the carpet with laminate cherry flooring looks good too, but the other contractors got sloppy and left some work unfinished. We still need to deal with that. However all the major work was done and the new bath/shower looks amazing.

I managed to add some more clients to my roster this year and that kept me busy throughout the Summer, along with taking care of our dog Joey, who we adopted in 2010. He’s turned into a very fine dog.

In late Summer we purchased a new vehicle. I traded in my 2004 Saturn ION-3 Quad Coupe for a 2011 Subaru Outback. Dave wanted me to have a safer car to drive and we both agreed we needed a “puppy-mobile” for Joey.

In the Autumn we took a trip out to Telluride, Colorado for vacation. My Aunt and Uncle also were vacationing in the area, so we were able to spend some time with them. We also visited a family who had adopted Joey’s sister Lexi and we ended up bringing Lexi home with us. Her family decided that she wasn’t the right dog for them and we didn’t have the heart to send her back to the rescue we found Joey at.

After we got back home my Aunt and Uncle also joined us back here as well for a few more days. It was nice to see them and to show them around where I live. My Uncle has been out here before, but my Aunt has never visited me until now.

Also late in the Autumn I finally added my coveted 2nd long-term agency client that I’d been working to add to my client list. Having 2 clients will hopefully give me more steady, regular work in the long-run.

The holidays this year have also been great. We decided to stay home for a change for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. We have a lot of travel planned in 2012 and so we just wanted to enjoy some quiet time at home this year. I also celebrated my 40th birthday and to honor the occasion started my own YouTube channel where I’ve started vlogging. I did a special birthday countdown to commemorate the milestone this year.

I managed to also negotiate myself a higher hourly bill rate with my clients this year, while also almost doubling my earnings Year over Year from 2010. It was hard work, but all the networking and late nights have really paid off!

In December Dave and I also became engaged and we are set to marry sometime in 2012 (I guess the world really is ending!).

On that note … I wish everyone a Happy and Healthy New Year!

Don’t Hate Me for Being Successful

December 27, 2011 / Gabs / No comments

Successful WomanI know not everyone had a good year in 2011. Unemployment was still high, the US ended up getting entangled in Libya, the Occupy movement went into full-force this Autumn, SOPA seemed imminent.

That’s probably why whenever I have a really good year, and the rest of the world feels like it’s falling apart, I actually feel guilty. Like my having a good year is causing all the bad things in the world.

I know it’s silly to think like that but I’m always afraid when I talk about what a good year I’ve had, people might think I’m gloating. In fact I’ve been accused of gloating before when that’s not my intention and so because of that I feel all the guiltier when I do have a good year. When I have success I want to shout it from the rooftops, and not meekly and humbly act like it didn’t really happen.

What people don’t realize is that growing up I was told on a daily basis by my mom how unwanted and worthless I was. To counteract that I learned how to psych myself up by reminding myself of all the good things in my life and all the things I was good at. When she started in on me, I’d remind her about all the good things I’d done and that often shut her up for a few days.

So when I start to talk about how marvelously successful my business has been in 2011, the fact that I have an amazing man in my life and we have a bevvy of really great pets (especially the dogs, who are simply amazing), I’m not gloating. I’m reminding myself (and anyone who will listen) that I am not that unwanted, worthless child my mother always told me I was.

Next time you hear someone talk about their successes, don’t immediately assume they are gloating. Think about what reason they might have to want to tell the world about their success.

Evolution of a Relationship

December 16, 2011 / Gabs / One comment

A pretty and sensible engagement ring. No expensive diamonds for me, thank you very much!

So this year Dave and my relationship passed the 5 year mark, which for me was a great milestone to achieve. My last multi-year relationship ended just shy of 5 years and it was very clear for well over a year before the break-up that it needed to end.

This time around things are very different. I’m still very much in love with Dave, and I know he is also in love with me. With that being said, I’ve never been big on the whole marriage thing. I don’t see the difference between living with the man I love, and being married to him, other than the legal and financial changes it causes.

It’s the financial reasons why we’ve avoided even thinking about marriage until recently – I had a very poor credit score and a lot of credit card debt. This would have negatively impacted his stellar credit score and neither of us wanted that.

My financial situation is now doing much better – I’ve been debt free for a couple of years now, my credit score went up to a very respectable level and has remained stable. Also we have discovered the tremendous tax savings we are not taking advantage of by not filing our taxes jointly.

So to that end, in our own unconventional way, we’re transitioning our relationship to the “next level.” We’re starting with the common law marriage. That way we can file as “married, filing jointly” for our taxes, which will save us both money on taxes. Because I am self-employed, between federal income-tax, state income-tax, social security and medicare, about 40% of my gross income goes to the government right now. Considering I’m no where near that much maligned “1%” I feel this is a pretty steep bill I’m paying here and I am seeking legal ways to reduce it a bit.

This will also allow me to be added to Dave’s health insurance plan, which would reduce my monthly medical insurance premium from $187 to $0. Over the course of a year that would save me over $2,240.

In the end, marriage is primarily about money (which is also why money  and finances is the #1 reason cited for divorce). Dave and I don’t need marriage to be in a healthy, loving relationship, but we do need marriage in order to take advantage of both financial and legal benefits that we would otherwise be denied. At this stage in our relationship it makes sense.

However there will be no fancy weddings, no elaborate bridal showers or bachelor parties. We live by the KISS principle (Keep It Simple, Stupid!). When we’re ready (after we have a nice pre-nuptial agreement drawn up and signed), we’ll switch from common law to legal marriage, officiate over our own nuptials and then throw a big party for our friends and family!

Being 40-Something

December 3, 2011 / Gabs / No comments

So yesterday I turned 40. That’s a fairly big milestone in a person’s life, considering our distant ancestors often didn’t live much past the age of 30 or so. If I was alive some 50,000 years ago I’d be considered a very old woman (and probably look the part), but in today’s modern age 40 isn’t really that old at all.

I can honestly say I don’t really feel that much different from when I turned 30. Sure I have a few more aches and pains then I did then, but nothing really all that bad.

My life is significantly improved since I turned 30, and way more since I turned 20. My 30s was my favorite decade in my life so far – I exceeded my own expectations in both my career and personal life. 10 years ago I would never have imagined being an independent consultant. In fact I remember having a presentation by a lady who was an independent consultant in one of my grad school classes and I thought to myself at the time “I could never do that.” Well I proved myself wrong (thank goodness!).

Also 10 years ago I would be equally skeptical that I’d ever meet a man as wonderful as Dave has been to me over the past 5.5 years. At that time I was still reeling for a big break-up (which was mostly mutual although I did broach the subject first). I wasn’t sure I’d ever find the kind of guy I really wanted and needed in my life. Amazing that he was living less than 1 mile away from me at that time!

I remember looking forward to my 30s, because I was tired of being 20-something and being treated as too young to know anything. Being 30-something seemed to add a level of legitimacy to my words, and people finally started to listen to what I had to say. It was a nice feeling.

I am equally looking forward to being 40-something and having an even stronger level of authority given to my voice. I don’t think your age should matter in how people perceive you, but in our society it still does.

Unfortunately you get to a point where you are considered “too old” to know anything. While I have no problems getting older, I dread the day someone looks at me and says “what do you know, you’re too old!” Let’s hope that doesn’t happen until I’m at least 80!

Until then I am going to keep enjoying my life, and working towards fulfilling the rest of my goals and dreams. I have 2 major goals left to accomplish, living to see my 100th birthday, and buying or building my dream house. Obviously the house goal will be accomplished first and I have no doubt it will be reached before I hit 50.

 

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